There is a lot squeezed into Baguette Me Not in Downend, a new cafe which although only a couple of months old has pulled off the trick of appearing to be here for much longer.

That trick is partly thanks to what looks like exposed brickwork with faded paint but what on closer inspection is in fact very convincing wallpaper.

Knives and forks that look like they could be owned by the BFG make up the decoration on one of the very purple walls, which are also adorned with hemp coffee sacks, and a variety of clocks and mirrors.

Open weekdays from 7am and Saturdays from 8am in what used to be Uncle Irv’s on Badminton Road, Baguette Me Not was doing a roaring trade when I visited on a wet Friday afternoon.

Food is of the paninis, baguettes, sandwiches, wraps and salads variety, with fillings homemade – as are the cakes, of which I can recommend the delicious carrot cake.

Tea is from Tea Pig, and there are also milkshakes and Shmoo thick shakes.

Flat whites have made it to the UK from Australia, but they haven’t quite made it to Downend. I was told by my evidently clueless waitress that if I poured milk into my black coffee it would magically become a flat white.

To be fair to him, the owner did then go on YouTube for a quick how-to session and then presented me with a coffee close enough to a flat white to be acceptable.

But it’s staggering when coffee, such an important part of the cafe experience, is so little known about in a new cafe.

Baguette Me Not, 31 Badminton Road, Downend, Bristol, BS16 6BB

Twitter: @bagmenotbristol